About a month ago, I lost my handbag with all my documents in it.
While on a work trip 
Crossing 7 countries
None of which was my country of citizenship
Over these last 4 weeks, I was in touch with about two dozen members of the consular, police, and local administration staff, in 3 different countries.
After the first 4-5 interactions, I started to notice a pattern.
It always started one of two ways:
🙂 “How may I assist you?”
😑 “Name, email, and phone number please.”
Guess who actually helped!
As a Romanian citizen living in Denmark and working all across Europe, my case was not so straightforward.
Not without some serious disruption to my work and life, anyway.
Within a couple of days, I became able to tell, from the first 5 seconds of each call, if the person on the other end was going to try and find a solution for me, or was going to serve me with the “That’s the way it is, there’s no other option.”
Looking back though, I didn’t need the pattern to know who was going to be helpful, and who wasn’t.
The pattern just made it obvious.
In truth, those 5 seconds were all I needed.
The person’s voice, their breath, how much space they gave me, how much space they took for themselves – all plenty of information for my brain to answer 2 essential questions:
🤨 Does this person mean well or not?
🤨 Do they have the capacity to follow through on their intentions?
This very same assessment is made by every human brain on the planet when meeting another person, and it’s how we decide to trust them – or not!
Studies show that we make this decision anywhere between 0,1 and 20 seconds, and any extra time we think we put into our evaluation is in fact us finding arguments to support the decision we have already made.
If you’ve ever met someone you instantly “clicked” with – or who rubbed you the wrong way for no apparent reason – then you know just what I mean.
For any professional communicator, this means one thing: you may have as little as one-tenth of a second to convey warmth (“I mean well”) and competence (“I have what it takes to make it happen”).
Such cues will therefore need to be not just non-verbal, but pre-verbal. As in, they can influence how someone feels before they can form a thought to describe (or justify!) that feeling – and definitely before you’ve delivered your first line.
The big question is – how?
I’ve worked with over 400 speakers of 46 nationalities, and these are the 6 strategies I’ve found to be most valuable when building trust:
To Signal Warmth
- Mean it.
Are you approaching the conversation with curiosity and helpfulness, or with impatience and detachment? Your intention seeps through in ways you may not even realize, influencing whether people perceive you as an ally or an obstacle.
Humans pick up on emotional states through subtle physiological cues often beneath conscious awareness (deep or shallow breathing, dilation of pupils, slight blushing, etc). When you believe what you are saying, your audience will know it. Appear disengaged or distracted, and you can quickly lose trust and credibility.
- Relax your face.
A slight smile, engaged eyes, and relaxed facial muscles indicate that you are trustworthy and relatable. Research has shown that facial tension, particularly around the forehead and mouth, can signal stress or discomfort. This is why speakers can sometimes be perceived as less approachable or, worse, less credible.
- Show your hand(s).
Your hands can reinforce your message or work against it. Keeping your hands visible and engaged—rather than hidden in pockets or crossed over your body— shows openness and honesty. Purposeful gestures will help emphasise your key points and add to your credibility. I call these “functional gestures”. And here’s the kicker: when your hands have a designated job to do, it will be much harder for them to hang awkwardly or fidget.
A study by Judith Holler and Geoffrey Beattie found that speakers who use their hands effectively are perceived as more engaging and persuasive. Specifically, speakers anticipated their listener’s thinking and adjusted gestures to help them understand better.
Hand gestures significantly enhance communication by clarifying meaning, adapting to social context, and reflecting the speaker’s awareness of the listener’s perspective. They are an integral part of how we convey information: not just expressive flourishes, but communicative tools to be leveraged.
To Signal Competence
- Manage stress.
Stress is one of the biggest inhibitors of executive presence, affecting everything from posture and breath to vocal tone and facial expressions. When stress levels rise, muscles tense up, breathing becomes shallow, and vocal pitch goes up. These signals can be unconsciously interpreted either as something being amiss about what you are saying, or as a lack of confidence on your part.
Workplace studies have also looked at the impact of stress on perceived leadership. A study from the Center for Creative Leadership found that executives who manage stress effectively are rated as more resilient and inspiring by their teams.
- Mind your posture.
Equally important is how you support your weight.
Standing with your weight evenly distributed on both legs creates a stable foundation, allowing for deeper, more controlled breathing. Shifting from one foot to another or standing with your weight on one leg might look sexy or nonchalant, but it also creates tension in the body, subtly signalling discomfort or uncertainty.
A well-balanced stance looks grounded, stable and encourages diaphragmatic breathing, which will help your vocal projection and sense of calm authority.
- Breathe with your whole torso.
Breathing isn’t just about oxygen. It’s one of the most powerful tools for presence, confidence, and vocal strength.
Many of us, especially under stress, tend to breathe from the top of our chest. This type of shallow breathing can signal anxiety, weaken the voice, and contribute to a tense posture. Instead, breathing with the entire torso — engaging the diaphragm and expanding through the ribs and back — supports vocal resonance and creates a sense of groundedness and authority.
This is not only about perception. Deeper breathing enhances our cognitive function, allowing us to perform better at essential speaking skills like remembering information, connecting the dots, and thinking on our feet.
One final thought
Before you even utter a word, your physiological state (your body!) speaks for you.
My recent experience was a vivid reminder of what science has taught us about trust: we decide whether to trust someone not just by what they say, but by how they show up. So if you want to consolidate trust within your team, or project instant credibility when speaking from the stage, make sure you signal your good intentions (warmth), as well as the ability to carry them out (competence).
Leadership Presence isn’t just a performance — it’s a practice.
And trust? It starts before you utter your first word.
If you’re ready to work on your Presence and build Trust with your stakeholders…
… let’s connect!
Drop me a line here, here, or here.