{"id":9597,"date":"2025-04-17T13:06:40","date_gmt":"2025-04-17T13:06:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onspeaking.com\/?p=9597"},"modified":"2025-04-17T13:12:21","modified_gmt":"2025-04-17T13:12:21","slug":"you-cant-think-your-way-out-of-stagefright","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onspeaking.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/17\/you-cant-think-your-way-out-of-stagefright\/","title":{"rendered":"You Can\u2019t Think Your Way Out of Stage Fright (Here\u2019s What To Do Instead)"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Image rights: Ard Jongsma<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cJust chill!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing to worry about!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll be just fine!\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever been told these things before giving a talk \u2013 or have said some version of these to yourself \u2013 then you know they don\u2019t quite work.<\/p>\n

Why? Because it\u2019s very hard to control the mind with the mind.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is both good news and bad.<\/p>\n

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The Bad News:<\/span> Your mind can\u2019t override your body<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s bad news because, despite this effort being doomed to fail, we\u2019ll all keep trying. If, like me, you\u2019ve been raised to believe in willpower, in the triumph of the individual over their environment, and in reason over instinct, it can be hard to accept there are certain battles your will can\u2019t win.<\/p>\n

Hello Anxiety, my old friend<\/h3>\n

The first form of speaking I ever did professionally was to deliver training on presentation skills.<\/p>\n

Ironically, during my first 6 months in that job, I spent every morning puking and praying that some asteroid would fall on my trainees\u2019 offices and cancel my session. At the same time, I was getting great feedback from my trainees, and my superiors were very encouraging and supportive. So I reminded myself of these things in between invoking cataclysm and trying to soothe my upset stomach.<\/p>\n

But my mind just couldn\u2019t think<\/em> my body into calmness.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course, you don\u2019t need to suffer from this level of glossophobia (fear of public speaking) to recognise that gap between what you would like to experience as you\u2019re giving your talk (ease, flow, calm, connection, joy, accomplishment), and what you\u2019re really experiencing (discomfort, stress, anxiety, difficulty finding words, nervousness, mental blanks).<\/p>\n

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The Good News: <\/span>Our thoughts & emotions don\u2019t come from outer space<\/h3>\n

Thoughts and emotions are a function of our body!<\/p>\n

How we stand, move, breathe, how and when we sleep, what we eat and drink, how we look at the world (literally, with our eyes!) \u2013 all have an impact on our nervous system and <\/em>are much more easily controllable.<\/p>\n

And in order to manage stress in the body, we need to understand it.<\/p>\n

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Stress is a spectrum from boredom to burnout<\/h3>\n

Between boredom and burnout, there is a whole range of stress levels.<\/p>\n

Somewhere in the middle is what the literature calls \u201ceustress\u201d<\/strong>, where optimal performance takes place.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\"Eustress<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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In eustress, we are energised and focused. Here, we face just the right level of challenge: high enough that we keep engaging, and not so high that we fail and become demotivated.<\/p>\n

Stay under that eustress threshold, and you won\u2019t be able to \u201ccontaminate\u201d your audience with the excitement, curiosity or indignation you want them to feel during your talk. Tip over that optimal stress level and you\u2019ll begin to experience discomfort, unease, anxiety and even full-blown stage fright.<\/p>\n

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We each respond to stress in different ways<\/h3>\n

For some of us, stress manifests as avoidance<\/strong> (I find myself in this category): we\u2019ll do whatever we can to get it over and done with. That can look like talking too fast, or trying to give the shortest possible answer and then passing the ball to someone else in a meeting, for example.<\/p>\n

For others, public speaking stress can feel like conflict<\/strong>. Clients I\u2019ve worked with have referred to this as \u201cI want to attack the situation\u201d, \u201cI am ready for battle\u201d, \u201cI have my ammo [facts \/ ideas] ready\u201d, \u201cI\u2019ll show them what I\u2019m made of\u201d. While that\u2019s a more empowering stance for the speaker, it doesn\u2019t always lead to a better experience for the audience, as there\u2019s just as little space for connection as in the first case.<\/p>\n

And then, there\u2019s the freeze<\/strong>: that moment when your head is full of white noise and you have no idea what you\u2019re supposed to say next, despite all the preparation. In a milder form, this type of stress can manifest as rambling or incoherence.<\/p>\n

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Stress is in the eye of the beholder<\/h3>\n

The only difference between anxiety and excitement is how much we want to be in that situation.<\/p>\n

We don\u2019t love a room full of people watching and judging us, but we love racing down snow-covered slopes, sports betting, action movies, exercise, learning, going on dates \u2013 need I go on?<\/p>\n

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Stress is physiological, not just psychological<\/h3>\n

Our brain is constantly trying to optimize the use of resources in our body (glucose, water, Calcium, Magnesium, Oxygen, amino-acids, etc). According to Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, stress is simply our body mobilising these resources in anticipation of effort (Lisa Feldman Barrett, “How emotions are made”)<\/p>\n

Increased heart rate, adrenaline and glucose rushing into the bloodstream, digestion put on hold \u2013 all of these are adaptations our body is making to prepare for effort.<\/p>\n

To the person walking on stage, it feels like their chest might explode, their hands and legs are trembling, and their mouth has gone dry. But to their brain, this is the right thing to do according to the level of effort it anticipates.<\/p>\n

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Stress is a memory, as well as a prediction.<\/h3>\n

As the ultimate resource optimiser, the brain doesn\u2019t just respond to stress in the moment. It predicts it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

For example, if I got praised for speaking or putting on a show as a child, my brain learned it was a safe activity. Therefore, no need to prepare for a huge effort. Therefore, no need to spend too much of the body\u2019s \u201cbudget\u201d.<\/p>\n

So as an adult, my brain doesn\u2019t go into overspending mode whenever I do a presentation, because it has no reason to anticipate trouble, based on its prior experience.<\/p>\n

If, however, I am criticised by a demanding parent, or the entire class laughs at my show and tell, my brain will learn that this situation endangers my belonging. This has a direct impact on my resources and safety.<\/p>\n

Now when I step on stage as an adult, my brain will anticipate a greater effort for me to belong to that social group. So it does what it does best: mobilise the body\u2019s resources to help it make this effort.<\/p>\n

The body isn\u2019t just reacting\u2014it\u2019s remembering.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At this point, you might say \u2013 but hey, isn\u2019t it a good idea to mobilise this energy, since speaking in public does take effort? And yes, that would be a great thing to do, if the brain could direct that energy and those resources to itself!<\/p>\n

Instead, it sticks to the pattern that has worked best since animals first started hunting each other some 500 million years ago: when in doubt, prioritise motor systems (so you can fight or run) and put all non-essential functions on hold (such as digestion, reproduction, or remembering your lines).<\/p>\n

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Modify your emotional state by adjusting your physical state<\/h3>\n

Our primary need in moments of unwanted stress is to feel safe.<\/p>\n

Enter: the Vagus nerve – a brain-body communication highway.<\/p>\n

And here\u2019s the really <\/em>good news: 80% of the fibers that make up the Vagus carry information from the organs to the brain <\/strong>(source<\/a>). Essentially, they let the brain know if the body is doing well or not.<\/p>\n

Which means that we can modify our emotional and mental state by modifying our physical state.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Vagus connects our brain with areas in the neck, external and inner ear, pharynx and oesophagus, heart, lungs, abdomen and digestive tract. It is involved in all the bodily functions that can make or break our experience as speakers \u2013 my aforementioned GI distress, that pounding heart, the shallow breath, the shaky voice, the dry mouth.<\/p>\n

Of all these functions, there is one we can control: our breathing<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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Breathing impacts stress, but not how you think<\/h3>\n

You\u2019ve surely been told to \u201cjust take a deep breath\u201d by a well-meaning person, probably the same one who said \u201cthere\u2019s nothing to worry about\u201d. The problem with that is that a long or vigorous inhale will speed up your heart, and therefore make you feel more <\/em>nervous. Here\u2019s how that works (source<\/a>):<\/p>\n